I Should Go Out Looking Like Crap More Often

The other day I stopped by the store to pick up milk (which ended up as a whole cart full of crap).  I also decided to buy some beer.  I pretty much NEVER buy beer; I lost the taste for it back in my 20s when I drank enough to fill a small sea and gained a similar amount of weight.  I now drink wine, which I'm kind of tired of.

In any case, my life has been pretty stressful lately, and I'm cutting back on going out drinking, so I thought perhaps a nice cold brewsky at the end of the day while I watched TV might perk me up.

So the cashier is ringing me up and asks for my ID.  At first I"m all like, "aww, aren't you sweet."  And she looks at me like, "you want this beer bitch; cough up that ID."   

Since I know they just check a cutoff date (as opposed to figuring out your age), I admitted to my 51 years.  I thought she'd be all, "wow, you look so young!"  Or, "we have to card under 40 now."  But no, she continued to look at me as if I was trying to pull something over on her.

Mind you, she was little more than a fetus.  And I had no makeup on, since I was just on a quick store run.  I will admit that without makeup on I do look a lot younger.  I also look HIDEOUS.  This is why I give up some youthfulness with a little makeup for a reduction in hideosity.  (I know that's not a word; I just like it).

Hmm, I wonder what else being young-looking-but-hideous can get me...